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Kit Palmer

What do you want to know about Kit

Boy from the bush

Kit is a farm boy who enjoyed his youth surfing on the Gold Coast in Queensland and rebelling against his normal job in the local court house. A friend of his suggested that he join the Commonwealth Police which later became the Australian Federal Police. so he did, simply because it sounded like a great adventure. Kit was a novice and had no idea what kind of policeman he wanted to be, so he watched and learned from others. He slowly formed his own way of being a cop, which was a collection of the good and bad displayed by others he had worked with and silently observed.

Police Detective

He later moved to Queensland where he joined the State Police learning a different set of rules. However, Kit retained and continued to refine his love of people. He made an unwritten study of their behavior and mannerisms. He remained sincerely compassionate, tempered with a tough exterior that suffered fools lightly. Kit loved the proper things in life, cups of tea, red wine the majestic quality of women and their refinements. He was also constantly struck by his own ability to remain steadfastly loyal to all. Just a simple working Detective.

The Book

A mixture of Kit's experiences as a Detective, his story and philosophical thoughts

Why No Capital Letters

Put simply Kit thinks that they are really silly except when using his own name of course. Kit is using capitals here because he is trying to confirm...a little bit. It is written in a staccato style which is so alike the words that tumble from Kits mouth.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to cops everywhere who know the reality of good and evil. Who understand the true meaning of words like compassion, empathy, a far go, staunch, stupidity and give me a break. It is dedicated to the families of policemen and women all over the world who have to put up with the highs and lows of police life after hours. It is dedicated to my children whom I love dearly...and to harry the dog. .

What is the Book About

It is a series of events that occurred while Kit Palmer was a police officer, laced together with the storyline of Kit being the best fuckin cop in Australia and given almost educational textbook like status by the addition of real police philosophy and true life experiences. The story of Kit Palmer is just the way Kit expresses himself with no excuses for grammar, punctuation, political or verbal correctness. It is just the way it comes out. Natural and real.

Who Should Read it

In fact anyone who wants to read a work of creative non fiction and read it without frills and with a wry smile. Young police should also read this book and feel the emotions of a true Detective and learn how to do it just right. Learn how not to be tempted by things you cannot control and distractions placed before you.

Anything Else

Kit loved the proper things in life, cups of tea, red wine the majestic quality of women and their refinements. He was also constantly struck by his own ability to remain steadfastly loyal to all. He continued this trait throughout his police work and personal life as well. This is a work of educated enlightenment to be read with some quiet amusement at Kits different style of explanation.

The Characters

Some of the names of places and characters have been changed to give confusion and ponderance to the reader; while some have remained true to give more mental acrobatics to those who knew Kit. This book is R rated due in the main to Kit being unable to say or write anything down without using and speaking in typical Australian expletive language.

Facts about the book

Some cool facts about the book
5
Bloody years
370704
Minutes Spent
No
Coffees Were Consumed Only Black Tea and Red Wine
Watch Kit's
Video
SLEDGEHAMMER
KIT's COP HERO

Kit's Artworks

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Kit's Prose

Kit's thoughts in Prose
an open door
(by Kit Palmer)

you know when you want a change?
resist it ok
stick with your lot
the good
the bad
the bullshit
the woman
the job
anything
just resist it
you have to wait for the door to open
or at least be open just a bit, just open enough for you to peek inside
but never push the door
never help it
if you touch it a little bit, go back and don't touch it again
just look inside
have a peek
go back
think a little bit
peek again
then go in
don't push the door
then you are meant to change things
for the time ......
when you are in the door always look for the exit
don't tell anyone you do this
it is a secret
just do it
______________

over there
(by Kit Palmer)

ever been out in the bush I mean really out in the bush
a long way from humans
back there
and pomeranians and red setters
where you can't see a hill or anything in any direction
except a tree somewhere
over there
the road has even stopped and the cattle are off drinking
somewhere
and the sun has set
over there
the billy is still boiling on the fire with the tea and the gum leaf
the horse is tied up
over there
your swag is rolled out between the truck and the fire
and you lie down
over there
and you look, you look at the majesty and you wonder
wow
what is up there and you look slowly at where the sky touches the land
over there
you just can't believe it, it is wonderful
no one to talk to
no one to do or say anything to
just you being honest and looking up there
a goanna walks past in the firelight
he is your brother he is you and you are he
I won't call him goanna anymore
I will call him john because he is me
and my horse stands still
over there
he is my brother and I am he
I won't call him 'flash' anymore I will call him robert
and the stars fill the sky
over there
______________

aeroplanes
(by Kit Palmer)

remember going on a trip in an aeroplane
in economy class
..and you are excited because of the trip but also
because you have hand maidens to take care of you
fancy dressed waitresses smiling and being all so pleasant
there are waiters too but you ignore them
they think they are the same as the hand maidens
..but they are not
they are the top of the hospitality food chain
so they think
and so they are
seat is too small but that's ok
I am on a trip and I am happy
I will just hibernate for the next 6 or so hours
it is all ok.
I smile at everyone and help people
with their luggage that is bigger than mine
how come they got to bring that, they didn't let me
..but it is all ok 'cause I am going on a trip
to somewhere else
the aisle seat is better you can go to the washroom easier
then the food comes out served by the hand maidens
all looks nice
served with wine
let's start with the entrée
smoked salmon and lettuce
ahh nice
then you smile at the person next to you
because you are on a trip somewhere
next is the main course
you open the tin foil lid and see steamed fish and vegetables
all good so you smile some more this time at the hand maiden
who has been trained to smile back
..and because
she is going somewhere too
the plastic knife cannot cut the carrots or the beans
or the broccoli
so you have to eat with the plastic fork and the plastic spoon
that you normally would use for the tea later on
..but they make the carrots and the beans longer that the width of your mouth
they won't fit in
so you can't cut them and you have to figure out a way to eat your vegetables
the only way is to balance each one on the spoon
long ways
..and ease it into your mouth
then the pilot falls asleep for a second or two and the plane drops
a few hundred feet
actually through the air
..and you miss your mouth and the carrot which is cut too long
falls on the floor
the same thing with the bean
length ways on the spoon
into your mouth
got it that time
fish is easy it is steamed and breaks up in perfect pieces for the teaspoon
you feel silly
..but they make the veges longer than your mouth
because they know
they really know
that you can't eat it without looking silly
you look at the person next to you
..and this time don't smile
because the cook has made you look silly
..and the hand maiden with the smile has served you, it is her fault she delivered it
she actually smiled because she was thinking "this fellow won't be able to eat his dinner"
..and she knew as well that you couldn't get the bean into your mouth
or cut it
or balance it on the bloody spoon
so you hold the tin foil plate which is hot up near your mouth
..and just shovel it in
ahhh
then there are the biscuits and cheese they are always a treat after dinner
it is impossible to get the plastic wrapper off the biscuits
likewise with the cheese it is impossible to open
you don your spectacles and inspect both wrappers
no no instructions or clues there
you try with all your strength and the biscuit wrapper will not break
they should make cars and things out of this stuff
then the fucking biscuits break and crumble inside the wrapper
you put the biscuits and cheese down and forget about them
you are on a trip somewhere
then comes the black tea with no sugar or milk
you can't see the bottom of the cup and it smells like tea that has been sitting in the pot since the last time they took this trip
last week
so you leave it
then there is the ice cream
thanks very much hand maiden
it is good to have ice cream on a trip
because you are going somewhere
then it is alright
it is frozen and the plastic spoon you have used for the carrots and beans breaks
you stop smiling and start to frown at the hand maiden
..and any bastard who walks by
bloke beside you farts silently
..but you are on a fucking trip
somewhere
the hand maidens are all busy and you wait and wait for them to take your tray
you want a piss
the bloke in front of you puts his seat back and the dinner tray hits you in the stomach
"fuck me mate watch what you are doing"
he says "sorry"
because he is on his first trip
to an island somewhere
"hey hand maiden get rid of me fuckin' tray I want a piss"
"just a minute sir"
"the meal was shit house you can't open the fuckin' biscuits, the ice creams too cold and
the tea is stewed"
"just calm down sir"
"I am fuckin' calm I am going on a fucking trip to somewhere o fuckin' k"
"If you don't calm down you will have to get off"
"get off we are 30000 feet in the air honey and the door is locked"
"just be quiet please"
ok I will for you, you have nice legs"
so the trip somewhere is a mess and you can't get off
you make a fool of yourself
..and the hand maidens don't come down your aisle again
______________

the dog bites


Kit Palmer - Available now for immediate download.

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